Don't Let Fear Stop You (Transform Your Fear into Power)

We all get scared. Fear is a normal part of life. But if you don’t know how to handle and respond to fear, it can be crippling. Roughly 90% of my clients come to me with a fear that it will not be possible for them to identify a career they love. Perhaps you too have experienced this fear. As my clients move forward through the Unearth Your Worth® process, that fear dissipates. They complete the Unearth Stage where they learn to embrace their unique set of strengths, skills, values, and passions, and move into the Imagine Stage, where they describe in detail their dream job. This is when, once again, these clients can begin to fear they will never find their dream job. They fear what they want doesn’t exist. But continuing to move forward into the Create Stage, where together we research the real life options that could fulfill their career dreams, this fear also begins to fade. It is replaced by the final fear in this process, the fear that, “No one will want to hire me for this job.” And this final fear is removed as the client applies for jobs and receives offers.

Fear. Fear of failing. Fear of losing. Fear of missing out. Fear of being wrong. Fear of change. Fear is one obstacle that everyone encounters. You can see it coming toward you, or it can sneak up on you when you least expect it. It can slow you down, distract you, or stop you in your tracks. It can even cause you to run in the opposite direction. You can find yourself thinking, “I would do thus and such – if only I wasn’t afraid.” Fear, if left to its own devices, can become all consuming. Have you ever had this experience? I know I have.

Great, you’re thinking. Now what? I admit it. I’m afraid. How do I stop? The truth is what you want to stop is being held back by and impeded by your fear. It doesn’t really matter if you feel fear, as long as you know how to manage it.

So what can you do, when you’re afraid? Here is one process I use to transform my own fears, which helps me to keep moving forward toward my own goals and dreams.

1. Step one is to admit it. Stop fighting it. Fighting it can make it stronger. Acknowledgement doesn’t mean give in to it either. Just recognize you are afraid. Simply say, “I am afraid.”

2. Next, name your fears. Take a sheet of paper and title it “Fears.” Now, list your fears by name. Be specific. Give yourself time for this task. Write, “I am afraid that ….” Take your time. Be gentle with yourself as you name your fears. Curl up with your dog, sip a cup of herbal tea, listen to music that soothes you. And name your fears. All of them. When you finish – standup, stretch, and take a few deep breaths.

3. Now, look at your list of fears. For each one, I want you to make a note, has this come to pass? Has this fear come true? Has it already happened in your life? A simple yes or no will suffice here. If the answer is yes, then that is no longer a fear, but a challenge for you to address. So take a separate sheet of paper and title that “Challenges,” and copy this fear there, so you can address it later.

4. Take a blank sheet of paper and title it “Opposites.” For each fear that remains, those that have not yet come to pass, I want you to write down the opposite of the fear. And when you write that opposite, write it in the present tense, e.g. I have, I am, I do. For example:

Fear: “All my efforts will fail, I won’t accomplish anything significant in my life.”

Opposite: “All my efforts pay off in the end. I achieve great success and accomplish significant goals in my life and in the world.”

Fear: “I will never get my book published.”

Opposite: “I am a prolific writer and published author. I am a best-selling author.”

5. Next, take another blank sheet of paper and title it “Opportunities.” Look in each Opposite for at least one Opportunity for you. You may find several Opportunities in a single Opposite. Great! Write them all down. For example:

Opposite: “All my efforts pay off in the end. I achieve great success and accomplish significant goals in my life and in the world.”

Opportunities: “I can check out some volunteer organizations and go give some time to something that resonates for me. I can review my career goals and make sure my values are reflected in those. I can find a coach or mentor to help me make sure I stay on track.”

Opposite: “I am a prolific writer and published author. I am a best-selling author.”

Opportunities: “I can write another draft of my latest story. I can go find a critique group to get some constructive feedback on my latest novel. I can send out more letters to possible agents.”

6. Look for one action you can take for each Opportunity. Write down the next tiny action you can take in the next 24 hours for each one.

7. Pick an action and commit to it today. Just one.

Now you have worked through your fears to get you to a place of taking action. Taking action is the key to achieving your goals. It is also the key to managing or overcoming your fears. And the next time you feel afraid, you can use this process to manage it.

There are many strategies you can use to deal with fear, and this is just one I’ve tried.  I’d love for you to share your favorite strategy below.

 

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Client Stories

What did you need at the time you hired Lori?


I wanted to work in my industry and didn't know how to progress any further than I was. I knew I had much experience that could be put in the industry of my choice but not how to parlay that experience. I needed guidance.

What did you and Lori do together?


Many, many things. Overall, to get clear in my mind what I offered and really what I wanted in a work environment. Every week was another epiphany after another. One of my favorites was the "knowing your core values". Having had some experience on this subject I was all ready to dive-in. Core Values is key. Knowing your core values. 

Lori makes it so easy to pinpoint. One time we were speaking about something else and we both realized...OMG...that is a core value for me. I hadn't written it down before, but discovered later that if ever a core value fit me...it was the one I mentioned at that time.  Knowing that piece of information also answered a long standing question in my head.  One of the "why's" as to my constant upset with other places I had worked.

What were the results from working with Lori?


Many things. One is a great looking resume. I thought, wow, I look good and it was all from work I had already done elsewhere but didn't know how to say it or present it. Another is the clarity of knowing where I will feel good when I do work. What I really want and with the kind of people I really want to work with on a daily basis. This entire process is so valuable. The best money I ever spent and I am not kidding or exaggerating. I was only hoping it would be valuable and it really was valuable.< I know stuff and it has value and is marketable. Lori showed me those things and it gives me confidence.

Anything else you’d like to add?


Lori delivers above and beyond. The highest quality of exchange, 'more than you expected.' I told my friends this over and over: 'I wish I had her 10-20-even 30 years ago.' Every one, and I mean EVERYONE, needs a Lori. Her understanding,patience, how she problem solves, putting things in simple terms, was mind blowing. I wish I could that well. I present a problem and she could turn it around and yes...another epiphany.

Lori, is worth every penny. It isn't about a title. It is about enjoying everyday doing work you love with people you like and are like minded. You'll know what you are looking for when you interview.  I never say this, but I will say it here. Lori is a major key into the rest of my life doing what I always wanted to do. That is: Being happy doing what I do, everyday. Something I have been saying for years. Allowing Sherlock...to be Sherlock.  Finding my people. They are out there and now I know what I am looking for in that respect.

LORI ROCKS!!!!!!

Sherlock Ganz, Los Angeles, CA