Creating the Best Support Team (Newsletter Vol 2 Issue 5)

By Lori Howard

Live A Better Life Newsletter
(Tools and Tips for Intentional Living)

Volume 2 Issue 5, April 27, 2010
Creating the Best Support Team

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In This Issue:

Creating the Best Support Team
Recommended Resources
Contact Me
About this Newsletter

Creating the Best Support Team

At some point in your pursuit of your goals, you will very likely encounter some sort of obstacle. If you don’t, I’d say you’ve you’re aiming too low.  Some obstacles seem overwhelming, insurmountable.  You run out of time or money or support.  You feel like you’ve hit the end of the runway, but the plane isn’t going to take off, instead, you fear you’re might crash and burn.

So what do you do? 

I want to talk this month about how to create support for yourself to keep you going when things get tough.  How to assess the value of your support system and then how to use it effectively. 

So right now, take a quick inventory of the people you are closest to, the one’s you trust.  List their names.  Let’s group them into simple types. 

–         Which ones are the ones who are great at cheering you up when you’re feeling down?  The ones most concerned with how you feel, and who want you to feel good.  Let’s call them our Cheerleaders.  Put a “C” next to their names.

–         Which ones are the ones who are great at analyzing things and finding problems in our logic or holes in our reasoning?  These are the problem-solvers.  The ones you talk over your ideas with when you are ready to have them challenged.  Let’s call them our Testers.  Put a “T” next to their names. 

–         Which are the really good listeners?  The ones who can listen to what you say without interruption, and respond with things like “So what you’re saying is …” or “I hear you…”  or “That sounds difficult/exciting…”.  Let’s call them our Listeners, and put an “L” next to them. 

–         Which ones are the ones who will call you out when you’re full of crap?  The ones who will challenge you that you can be more, do better?  Let’s call them our Butt-Kickers, and put a “B” next to their names.

It is important to have some of each of the Cheerleaders, Listeners, Testers, and Butt-Kickers in your support system.  It is equally important to know which type of support you need when you call on your support system for help.  Do you need someone to pick you up, remind you of how great you are, that you can do this?  Call one of your Cheerleaders.  Do you need someone to listen to you, and reflect back to you what you’re thinking and feeling?  To give you time to vent or clear your mind of thoughts and feelings.  Give a Listener a call.  Perhaps you need help fixing a problem to overcome an obstacle, actually looking at the solution you’ve come up with, and want to see if someone other than you thinks it will work, then call your Tester.   Or do you really need someone to call you forth, challenge you to step it up and bring your real A-game?  Boldly seek out your Butt-Kicker to come along and kick your butt. 

It’s important that you know who can do what in your support system.  Call on the wrong one at the wrong time and you could end up feeling crippled, instead of lifted up and helped along your way.   

Now, there’s one final category I’m struggling with mentioning, but I think they do exist and are important to discuss.  These are the Nay-Sayers.  The ones who no matter what you say or do, are always focused on the negative.  To them the sky is always falling and we are all doomed to destruction.  There is a difference between our Testers and these Nay-Sayers. Testers know how to dig in and find problems in our thinking.  The Nay-Sayers take it to a whole other level – and can be destructive to our hopes and dreams and ideas.  We may love them dearly, but need to limit our contact with them, especially when we’re in need.  Put an “N” next to their names so you remember who they are.  When you really need support, don’t go these individuals. 

So what do you do when you encounter those uber-challenging obstacles?  Take a moment to decide what kind of support you need, and reach out your support system:  Ask for help.  What if some people in your support system can serve as different types?  Tell them what kind of support you need. 

If your current support system doesn’t contain Cs, Ls, Ts, and Bs, then start looking for people to add to the mix.  Not sure how to do that?  I invite you to schedule an appointment with me and we can talk about how you can create a stronger support system for yourself and your dreams.

Unearth your worth™ today!

Warm regards,

Lori Howard

p.s. Post your thoughts below!

Recommended Resources

The topic in this section is resumes.  You never know when you’ll need yours.  Would you like to make your resume powerful and compelling? Check out this new product:  Write a Resume that Works!  For newsletter subscribers – there’s a special 30% discount.  Click here for details!

Would you like to just beef up the language in your resume to give your accomplishments greater impact?  Pick up this f*r*e*e list of Action Verbs.

Contact Me

I welcome your feedback, comments and questions. Also, if you’re interested in contributing to this Newsletter, email me your submissions.

Tell me what you think about this newsletter by posting a comment below.

website: www.coachforabetterlife.com
blog: CoachforaBetterLife.wordpress.com
email: Lori@CoachforaBetterLife.com

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Client Stories

What did you need at the time you hired Lori?


I wanted to work in my industry and didn't know how to progress any further than I was. I knew I had much experience that could be put in the industry of my choice but not how to parlay that experience. I needed guidance.

What did you and Lori do together?


Many, many things. Overall, to get clear in my mind what I offered and really what I wanted in a work environment. Every week was another epiphany after another. One of my favorites was the "knowing your core values". Having had some experience on this subject I was all ready to dive-in. Core Values is key. Knowing your core values. 

Lori makes it so easy to pinpoint. One time we were speaking about something else and we both realized...OMG...that is a core value for me. I hadn't written it down before, but discovered later that if ever a core value fit me...it was the one I mentioned at that time.  Knowing that piece of information also answered a long standing question in my head.  One of the "why's" as to my constant upset with other places I had worked.

What were the results from working with Lori?


Many things. One is a great looking resume. I thought, wow, I look good and it was all from work I had already done elsewhere but didn't know how to say it or present it. Another is the clarity of knowing where I will feel good when I do work. What I really want and with the kind of people I really want to work with on a daily basis. This entire process is so valuable. The best money I ever spent and I am not kidding or exaggerating. I was only hoping it would be valuable and it really was valuable.< I know stuff and it has value and is marketable. Lori showed me those things and it gives me confidence.

Anything else you’d like to add?


Lori delivers above and beyond. The highest quality of exchange, 'more than you expected.' I told my friends this over and over: 'I wish I had her 10-20-even 30 years ago.' Every one, and I mean EVERYONE, needs a Lori. Her understanding,patience, how she problem solves, putting things in simple terms, was mind blowing. I wish I could that well. I present a problem and she could turn it around and yes...another epiphany.

Lori, is worth every penny. It isn't about a title. It is about enjoying everyday doing work you love with people you like and are like minded. You'll know what you are looking for when you interview.  I never say this, but I will say it here. Lori is a major key into the rest of my life doing what I always wanted to do. That is: Being happy doing what I do, everyday. Something I have been saying for years. Allowing Sherlock...to be Sherlock.  Finding my people. They are out there and now I know what I am looking for in that respect.

LORI ROCKS!!!!!!

Sherlock Ganz, Los Angeles, CA