Dealing with Doubts and Your Dream (Newsletter Vol 1 Issue 9)

Live A Better Life Newsletter
(Tools and Tips for Intentional Living)

Volume 1 Issue 9, May 11, 2009
Dealing with Doubts and Your Dream
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In This Issue:

Dealing with Doubts and Your Dream
Recommended Resources
Contact Me
About this Newsletter

Sometimes it appears that whenever we begin to take action toward our goals and dreams, the doubts and fears grow as well. And then we get distracted, and can get stalled. In this issue, we’ll deal with the doubts and get back into action.

Also, I’ve updated my service offerings, so check out my website to see what’s new. Then contact me for your complimentary consultation.


Lori Howard
Life, Career, and Business Coach
Your Coach for a Better Life!

What do you do when your dream feels overwhelming or just plain impossible?

Even the most enthusiastic people have moments when the doubts overwhelm all other thoughts, dreams and desires. “What if I can’t do this? What if I’m crazy for trying? What if I don’t succeed? What if this is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done? What if I’m not smart enough, good enough, ready enough?”

It’s important to know how to deal with the doubts when they come, so they don’t derail you from going after your dreams. These can be triggered by a bad day, or by something someone says to you (even a well-intentioned someone).

Here is my first suggestion. When you have these thoughts, ask yourself this question: What if the doubts are right? Sit with your reaction just for a moment – note how you feel. Are you relieved? Grateful? Sad? Depressed? Perhaps angry and frustrated?

If you feel relief, then perhaps this is not the right direction for you after all. And I recommend giving that some thought, and deciding if this something you really want. It is perfectly ok if the answer is no.

However, if you feel sad or angry, then it’s time to break things down into their tiny parts, and get out of your head and into reality. You need to put your doubts to the test, one by one, and see if they’re true.

Let’s take the first doubt: What if I can’t do this? And for our example, let’s assume “this” is starting up a new business.

Do you know the answer to this? I mean through empirical evidence, have you done it before? If yes, then clearly, the doubt isn’t true. If you’ve owned businesses before, you know you can set up another one. And you certainly can learn from your mistakes. If you did it before, you can do it again.

But if you’ve never set up your own business, then what do you need to know in order to answer this question? How can you find out? Perhaps you could talk to others who have set up their own businesses, find out what lessons they learned along the way. You can read books on the subject. Find a business coach who specializes in starting up companies. Then ask yourself, can you do those things? Or can you find someone to help you do those things?

Do you see what’s happened here? Now you have some actions to take, pragmatic steps to address your doubts. In our example, the list is:
• Identify others who have started their own business and talk to them
• Go to the library and get some books on starting a business
• Seek a recommendation for a business coach
• Start interviewing business coaches
• Keep notes of everything you learn
• And so on…

Let’s go back, where is the doubt now? Out of the ethereal realm and into the real world. You’ve reframed it so you can do something about it, get your hands around it, and evaluate it logically and rationally. You’ve used the doubt to help you get information you need. Now you can take the information you’ve collected, and decide whether you want to proceed.

Do this for each of your doubts, knock them down one by one. You’ll feel like you’re back in the driver’s seat, with your doubts in the back, where they belong. Instead of allowing your emotions to fuel your doubts and trigger paralyzing fears, you can tap into your emotions for passion and enthusiasm to drive you to action.

I’d love to hear from you, post your thoughts below!

Are you ready to deal with your own doubts, unearth your dreams, and launch your life forward? Go to my web site and download the free report: Five Days to Goals That Inspire You (in the section: “A Gift for You”) and you will not only set the goals, you will also create a daily action plan to achieve them! If you’d like additional support, contact me for your complimentary consultation.

Special thanks to Jennifer Lee for her recommendations and referrals. Certified coach, artist, writer and yogini, Jennifer Lee empowers professional and entrepreneurial women to awaken their inner muse and live life in full color. Through her coaching, teleclasses and workshops she has helped hundreds of women reach their personal and professional dreams. She is the creator of the Right-Brain Business Plan and Unfolding Your Life Vision Kit and is featured in the books “The Girl’s Guide to Kicking Your Career into Gear” and “The Vision Board.” You can find out more at her website and blog

I welcome your feedback, comments and questions. Also, if you’re interested in contributing to this Newsletter, email me your submissions.

Tell me what you think about this newsletter by posting a comment below.


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© 2009 Lori Howard. All rights reserved.

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Client Stories

What did you need at the time you hired Lori?

I wanted to work in my industry and didn't know how to progress any further than I was. I knew I had much experience that could be put in the industry of my choice but not how to parlay that experience. I needed guidance.

What did you and Lori do together?

Many, many things. Overall, to get clear in my mind what I offered and really what I wanted in a work environment. Every week was another epiphany after another. One of my favorites was the "knowing your core values". Having had some experience on this subject I was all ready to dive-in. Core Values is key. Knowing your core values. 

Lori makes it so easy to pinpoint. One time we were speaking about something else and we both realized...OMG...that is a core value for me. I hadn't written it down before, but discovered later that if ever a core value fit was the one I mentioned at that time.  Knowing that piece of information also answered a long standing question in my head.  One of the "why's" as to my constant upset with other places I had worked.

What were the results from working with Lori?

Many things. One is a great looking resume. I thought, wow, I look good and it was all from work I had already done elsewhere but didn't know how to say it or present it. Another is the clarity of knowing where I will feel good when I do work. What I really want and with the kind of people I really want to work with on a daily basis. This entire process is so valuable. The best money I ever spent and I am not kidding or exaggerating. I was only hoping it would be valuable and it really was valuable.< I know stuff and it has value and is marketable. Lori showed me those things and it gives me confidence.

Anything else you’d like to add?

Lori delivers above and beyond. The highest quality of exchange, 'more than you expected.' I told my friends this over and over: 'I wish I had her 10-20-even 30 years ago.' Every one, and I mean EVERYONE, needs a Lori. Her understanding,patience, how she problem solves, putting things in simple terms, was mind blowing. I wish I could that well. I present a problem and she could turn it around and yes...another epiphany.

Lori, is worth every penny. It isn't about a title. It is about enjoying everyday doing work you love with people you like and are like minded. You'll know what you are looking for when you interview.  I never say this, but I will say it here. Lori is a major key into the rest of my life doing what I always wanted to do. That is: Being happy doing what I do, everyday. Something I have been saying for years. Allowing be Sherlock.  Finding my people. They are out there and now I know what I am looking for in that respect.


Sherlock Ganz, Los Angeles, CA