Embrace the Life You Have (Newsletter Vol 1 Issue 2)

Coach for a Better Life Newsletter

Embrace the Life You Have!

Volume 1 Issue 2, October 13, 2008


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In This Issue:


Happy Fall!

Embrace the Life You Have  

Recommended Resources

Contact Me

About this Newsletter 



Happy Fall!


Welcome to Issue #2 of my newsletter!  It’s been quite a month of turmoil, hasn’t it? The Presidential campaigns are amping up, and the economy is a roller coaster ride through a haunted park, or so it seems.  It can be tough to stay focused on your goals when the world around you seems to be filled with chaos.  


So in this issue we’ll talk about another foundational element to living a life you love: accept where you are and embrace what you already have. Where are you now, truly?  What do you have in your life that you love or are just simply grateful for? That is the focus of this issue.




Lori Howard

Life, Career, and Business Coach

Your Coach for a Better Life!


p.s.  Help me name my newsletter! Winner receives a free one-hour power coaching session (valued at $100)! Email suggestions by December 1, 2008. Winner will be chosen by December 15, 2008.


Embrace the Life You Have


Last month we talked about Designing the Life You Want – how to figure out what you truly desire.


A lot has happened in the past month, the economy has tanked in scary ways,  the competition for President has amped up, leaving many of us drained from the process, and in the midst of all this, that’s in addition to the personal obstacles that we’ve experienced individually. Life has a way of throwing us curve balls, sometimes one at a time, sometimes it feels like we’re getting pummeled by one of those ball machines in a batting cage.  Circumstances can cause us to doubt whether pursing a life we love, the life of our dreams, is worth the effort.  Hope wavers.


It’s also true that the clearer we are on what we want, it can become very easy to focus on all the things we do not yet have.  Our frustration builds. We begin to get frustrated by what we don’t yet have, by how long the journey takes. It is easy to overlook what we have.  In pursuing the life you want, you want to be careful not to miss out on the life you have.  In truth, there are elements of the life we desire that exist now, in the present.


So what do you do?  How do you enjoy life when all you see are obstacles? How do you maintain balance, between pursuing the life you want, and living the life you have now?


They say the first step to changing behavior or circumstances is acceptance. Acceptance – as I define it – is acknowledgement that things are the way they are.  It doesn’t mean you don’t want to change things.  It means you admit to the current state – without debating it, arguing it, or fighting it.  Accepting who you are, where you are, now, in this moment, is a first step you can take toward living the life of your dreams.  Acceptance strikes me as something we do with things we don’t like.  My body is overweight and out of shape and I accept my body as it is.  It is also able to walk and move, and feels pleasure in addition to

pain.  I accept my body as it is.  I want to own my own home, and I currently live in a rental.  I accept my home as it is.  I’d rather be in a committed relationship, and I accept that I am single now.


The companion step to acceptance, one that is far more uplifting, is to embrace and appreciate.  Embrace who you are, appreciate where you are and what you have, now, in this moment.  There is no time like the present to enjoy what you have.


So – how do you do that?


First, start by listing out the things you have in your life that you love, things that fill you with joy and delight.  Yes.  It is that simple. Consider the people in your life, your relationships, your pets, and your possessions (fireplace, home, view, lavender sheets your grandmother gave you, cup of morning coffee from your favorite coffee shop).  List them out.  Make sure you only include things you love, things that fill you with joy, pleasure, love, or delight.


The next strategy takes a bit more effort, and offers more of a reward. Take a gratitude walk.  There are many variations on this, and I’m going to describe the one I find most effective.  I take one 30 minute gratitude walk at least 5 days a week.  It’s good for your body, your heart, and your emotions.  I roll out of bed, dress, and walk as the sun comes up.


My walk goes like this:

5 minutes – say “Thank You for…”, or “I’m grateful for…” and name something for which you are grateful.  I actually voice my gratitude aloud.  They key here is to keep saying “Thank You for…” It’s ok to repeat things.  Sometimes I’ll repeat the same Thank You 10 times before I name something new.  Sometimes I loop through the same handful of things for my five minutes.  It doesn’t matter.  What matters is that you express your thanks, your gratitude, your appreciation.  If you feel stuck, go for the basics, health, food, clothing, shelter, people (or pets) you love and who love you.  Things you can see, hear, taste, smell, or touch.


5 minutes – Ask for what you need, what you want, what you desire in your life.  “I want…” or “I need…” or “Help me with…” This is almost always easier.  And typically, when you’ve been grateful for 5 minutes, your mind starts to think of things you want or need.  The dreams you have.  The goals you’ve set.  The help you need to get there. This gives you a place to express those.  The key here again is to keep asking for a full 5 minutes.  Repeat things if you need to.


5 minutes – Thank Yous


5 minutes – Asking


5 minutes – Thank Yous


5 minutes – Walk in silence… By this time, I’m typically exhausted and feeling more grateful for my life as it is.   Also, this is often when insights begin to occur for me – I get ideas for what I can do next. 


At the end of your walk, take a moment to write down any ideas or insights that you wish to remember from your walk.  You may have thoughts about how to handle a problem in the day ahead, or ideas about next steps you can take toward your goals, or even new inspirations about what you really want your life to be.


When you get home, notice how you feel.  It is not unusual to feel more focused, more at peace, and overall grateful for the life you have now. You may feel newly inspired to reach your goals.  You may feel more balanced.  If you feel no different than when you started, that’s ok. Try this every day for a week, and then see how you feel.


In order to enjoy the journey toward your dreams, as well as the destination, you can find balance through this process of acceptance and gratitude.  In pursuing the life you want, you don’t want to miss out on the life you have.


Recommended Resources


Here’s another tool to practice gratitude and acceptance from Sarah Ban Breathnach, author of one my favorite books, Simple Abundance: Simple Abundance Journal


Looking for some inspiration as you pursue your dream?  Check out this blog by writer Tabitha Olson http://tabwriter.blogspot.com/2008/10/are-you-writer.html.


Would you like to set goals that will excite and inspire you? Goals that move you to action. Rather than drain you, they energize you! Go to my web site  www.CoachforaBetterLife.com and download my free report: Five Days to Goals That Inspire You (in the section: “A Gift for You”) and you will not only set the goals, you will also create a daily action plan to achieve them!


Contact Me


I welcome your feedback, comments and questions.  Also, if you’re interested in contributing to this Newsletter, email me your submissions.


website:  www.CoachforaBetterLife.com

blog:       CoachforaBetterLife.wordpress.com

email:     Lori@CoachforaBetterLife.com


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About this Newsletter


© 2008 Lori Howard.  All rights reserved.


You may reprint articles from the Coach for a Better Life Newsletter on your site, blog, electronic newsletter, or in hard copy, as long as you include the following (in its entirety) with your reprint.


“Copyright 2008 Lori Howard.  All rights reserved.  Reprinted from Coach for a Better Life Newsletter, the free e-zine on how to live a more fulfilling life.  Please visit Lori’s website at [http://www.CoachforaBetterLife.com] www.CoachforaBetterLife.com for more information.” 



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Client Stories

 I was looking to make large changes in my life, both job and city.  I was a happy midwestern resident for nearly 30 years but wanted to see what life on a coast was like and get a dream job.  This was a tall order and going into it I thought I would have to make large compromises on parts of my dreams to get any of it.  

I went to Lori to help me achieve these dreams.  It was the best decision I made.

She focused on two things right out of the gate:
  1. clarify my goals, both personal and professional
  2. get me to stop selling myself short

These twin achievements allowed me to approach my hunt with confidence, patience and focus.  My original dream job was to try and combine my technical joys with a personal one.  I enjoy large scale data processing with cutting edge tools, music and baseball.  Through the tools Lori taught me and helped me unearth in myself I got that gig that would have fallen into day dream territory before our work together.  

And yeah, there's platinum records on the walls of my lobby and I have tons of data to process.

Pat Christopher, Intelligence Engineer, Seattle, WA